Canada Rocks and Lactose Mocks

CANADA ROCKS!

Canada Rocks 2012 - Park Royal Hotel, Kuala Lumpur

This weekend we found out there are actually other Canadians living in Malaysia. By far, the highest population of Expats in Kuala Lumpur are from the UK. This is followed by Australia, New Zealand, then perhaps European countries such as Germany, France, Spain, Poland etc, with Americans after that. So you can imagine the shock when you hear "Nice weather eh?" and realize you have just stumbled on a Canadian. There is an Association for Canadian expats in Kuala Lumpur so we were quick to join. They have 2 big events every year: A huge Canada Rocks party, and a Thanksgiving Ball. Looks like we got here just in time!

We grabbed our Canada Rocks tickets and went last night to join a sell out crowd at Park Royal Hotel in downtown KL. Out of 180 or so "Canadians" I would suggest that maybe 80 to 100 were actually Canadian. The rest were just friends from other countries wanting to party. In either case, we met a lot of interesting Beavers...

Out of the "true Canadian" mix, many were from Regina Saskatchewan. If you think about it, this makes perfect sense. Who the hell wants to live in Regina, really. The winters are crazy, you can see your dog run away for days, and there's a very small dating population that have full sets of teeth. So naturally expat recruiting companies set up there. Oil and Kindergarten teachers. Interesting mix. Some fun people from Nova Scotia and Newfoundland - Again, makes sense - They're fun and adventurous, love to drink and eat fish, are used to rain and hate the cold. Perfect! I think we were the only cats to represent Toronto/Oakville area but that made us novelties...well in many ways lol....

We swapped stories on how we all ended up here in KL which was really interesting. Some are going through mid life crisis, and why not do that in a warm climate at the epicenter of Asian travel? Others were trying to surface after drowning in an ugly divorce, or had enough being MOM and not living for themselves. Even some who had lived in other remote areas for many years and this is just one more stop on their never ending adventure. Many people who love living as an expat due to the culture it creates within a culture - The camaraderie, the parties, the adventure, the travel, the stories...
Their stories really brought different perspectives to things. Some view this as an escape while others view being here as a new beginning or adventure. I think I'm somewhere in-between...I always was a fence sitter lol.

The set up - Tons of beer and wine, big tacky dance floor and a band that you would hear play in any small town in Canada...like the size of Belle River or somewhere on Front street in Thorold. The buffet was a true attempt at a Canadian backyard BBQ but it more accurately resembled a midnight buffet at a Stag and Doe...still stellar! They had corn, salads, beef, chicken, and just for the novelty of it...POUTINE....ahhhh so cool. For 3 hours of our life we were back in Canada.

Unfortunately the night took a turn as I realized I had eaten dairy and I hadn't brought any Lactaid. Seriously, cheese mocks me. My body now feels like there's some military operation happening within my intestines and I'm just worried the grenades are going to go off before I can find cover. I'm sweaty, talking to many drunk Canadians who just think I ate a hot pepper and am shifty in my stance...so I run to the washroom. This is when I'm reminded I'm NOT in Canada...there's no way I can take care of this here.

So, after a pleasant night of slides, reminders of how bad the Toronto Maple Leafs are, how great Sarah McLachlan really is, how loud we like our music and how much louder we can talk while double-fisting Carlsberg (in place of Coors, Canadian or Blue), and how, at any age, everyone uses the dance steps made famous in the 80's (the hip out and to the side, shift and turn) and that it's okay. Because Canada Rocks.

GROWWWWLLLLLLL - Okay the story isn't over. It's time to get a "TEKSI" home. NOW. We get into the blue cab (blue cabs are much cleaner and nicer than red and white cabs, but cost double). We weren't going to wait for the cheap cab given my urgent internal military maneuvers. So we're off, free beer glass in hand. Should only take us 10 minutes to get home, then I can deal with my "issue". Well and then we hit a standstill. Pure gridlock of traffic. What's going on!?!?!? 10 minutes have passed, and something else is about to if we don't start moving. I'm squirming in my seat while Mairianne translates what the driver is saying about the street event. I have to say, she has a gift. I swear I can hear a driver say "Stetful people ovenwear frowning" and all I have to do is look at Mairianne and she translates it into "There's a street full of people everywhere for the king". She's awesome :)

Okay we're at the 20 minute mark now and I just can't hold it. I swear 30 seconds of hot air just escaped...and it didn't go unnoticed. I quickly turned to open my window and wow. I can't roll down the window. It's on child lock. And that was just the beginning...my body was ready to play the pan flute and I'm hot boxing everyone! What to do....All I could think of was to hold my free beer glass in a certain way as to mitigate the dispersion of........it didn't work. No one spoke the rest of the way. I don't think that cab driver will ever pick us up again. I remembered this morning that I should wash that glass out before I use it.

Well...in spite of cheese mocking me, we met some good people and have golf dates planned as soon as our cargo passes customs. That will be another story.

Thanks to last night I'm reminded that Canada is the best country in the world. Canada really does ROCK.

This is Christine in KL, sampai jumpa lagi!

Fishheads and Chicken Bones

So adjusting to KL life wasn't too hard. Most everyone speaks English in some form, albeit many I can't understand even in English lol. There's Malay Malaysians, Chinese Malaysians and Indian Malaysians, so it's really like living in Toronto. Except I think we're less of a minority here...

The food is the same you'd find in Toronto...clearly there's lots of Chinese and Indian restaurants, but also Thai, Vietnamese and traditional Malay. Okay, so there's differences:

Chinese food here has no chicken balls with fluorescent red goop. Instead, it's fishballs in a broth with fermented fish paste and and a sunny side up egg. Slight adjustment.

The Indian food is so spicy that I actually get the "hole in the ground" toilet mentality. Burns on the way in, and flies on the way out. It also explains the water hose in all the bathroom stalls...why use toilet paper....that kind of friction mixed with heat could cause a fire. Much better to hose it off.

Okay, Malay food....what can I say about this; Fish heads and chicken bones. They don't de-bone their meat. they get a cleaver out and chop chop, add some yummy fried sardines on your rice along with hot hot hot hot hot sambal, and let's not forget the egg. The egg shows up everywhere...it's like it's always Easter, but never cooked. The other concern is the local beef. Why does it taste like old mutton? It's disturbing, but also  makes me understand why Mcdonalds only sells "chicken sausage"...



It's very interesting to see all of the chicken products. I get that it's really the best protein you can have considering the other options, but I really didn't see a pizza as coming with chicken floss, chicken salami and chicken loaf. Like EVER. But here it is...It's on my "to do" list for sure...lol

Given all this, whenever someone asks me out for lunch at work I need to qualify where we are going. If they are Malay Malaysians, I pretty much say no f'ing way right off the bat. Not only for the fish heads but because many eat with their hands, and those are the same hands that hold the hose in the bathroom...you know what I'm saying? So I stick with my Chinese and Indian Malaysian friends for food dates la...(oh they say "la" at the end of every sentence like we say "eh" it's quite charming and something I have adopted quickly as it hides my post sentence belches...but I digress). 

Now in saying all that there are really neat things too. After intense laptop shopping we went for a drink in a local chinese restaurant and ordered Jasmine tea. Infront of us they poured boiling water in a glass cup then threw in what looked like a marijuana bud. I wasn't about to argue..
Over the next couple of minutes it bloomed! The end result is the picture to the right. Tasted absolutely awesome and looked stellar.
That was a nice moment. Now back to the food.

The Malay food should be on the weight watcher's friendly list. I'm losing weight. The Malay food is a new diet plan. Why didn't I think of this back home!?!?!?! Fish heads, chicken bones, chicken floss, and beef that tastes like mutton. I may be on a fast track to becoming a vegetarian...but let's not get ahead of ourselves yet.....time will tell. For now I go to the overpriced expat market and buy imported beef from Australia for about $50RM a steak when I get the craving for red meat.

That's it for me today, tune in next time...this is Christine in KL signing off.